Elaine Boomer on “Money at Church: Can You See the Triangles?”

We had a terrific conversation with family therapist and clergy coach Elaine Boomer on triangles at church around money. Here are a few quotes:

“Money is the hot topic everywhere, in my work with families and in my work with clergy. Money is a repository for anxiety. Anxiety is always floating around in churches and families and businesses. For example, if a pastor leaves a church, the anxiety goes up, and it looks for a place to land. In most churches it lands on money.”

“All triangles work the same: money isn’t the issue, it’s the anxiety. Look in your own family of origin and see what makes you anxious and what doesn’t. In all triangles you always have to be aware of what’s going on inside of you.”

“Don’t be so obsessed with the outcome. Stephen Covey says, “Do things with the end in mind, but let go of the outcome.” So you see possibility but you’re not so tied up with the outcome. It’s not about having no opinion but about letting other people in the triangle work out how they are going to be with the money.”

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